I haven't made it to church as often as I'd like to the last few months, and there's really no excuse for it. However, the times I do get there the message is seemingly always exactly what I need to hear. Yesterday's touched on patience, and asking for things but not necessarily being ready for them. Not to get preachy or super religious here, but the concept of God withholding certain blessings until he deems us prepared to receive them and use them to their fullest really hit home.
I feel like I've been saying this a lot lately, but I am impatient when it comes to the success I envision for myself. I push forward always, even when things are at their hardest, but damn sometimes I wish I could just wake up a successful owner of my own label with my acts already having platinum albums under their belt, Billboard Top 10 hits and money overflowing. A family of creatives dominating multiple industries but simultaneously uplifting local communities. I think anyone in the world would be happy with the path to their end goal being accelerated in that way, especially the resources they could provide to others they care for.
Of course, luck operates in mysterious ways but also I have to think about where I am. Am I really ready for that kind of responsibility? Have I gained the knowledge to handle all of that, and my own brand on top of that? Have I truly paid my dues? I'd answer all of those things with no, and 80-year-old Armon would look back on life miserably if I had all of that now at 23 but screwed it up due to lack of preparation and understanding.
One thing I never want to do is look back on life with regrets. It's inevitable, but I try to limit them. As impatient as I am, I do see the value in the long game. If I had it all now, even the amount I've worked these last few years, it could go very wrong. It's not a matter of whether I deserve to be great and change the world the way I'd like to, but more so if I am ready to. I'd answer no, and I think that's a testament to the self-awareness I've gained over the last year.
Like my brother Joseph Nelzy said at the start of 2019, this year is all about executing. Cool, I know myself and my flaws. Now what am I going to do about them so I can eventually be ready? That's the next step, and I think I'm ready to tackle it.