I really do try to avoid asking the question "why me?" because for someone like me who is growing rapidly in self-awareness, acknowledging mistakes and actively becoming better, that question requires you to answer it. And then you have to think about all the things you may have done wrong to get you to where you currently are. Shit, you could risk going mad once it dawns on you you're the misguided pilot of your own misfortunes.
It's a shitty experience being honest with yourself at first, but over time it can become a bit enjoyable and surely relieving. I guess I'm just waiting for more people to figure themselves out, or at least try to. Once you know yourself, the way you navigate life is very, very different.
Two important lessons I've learned this year - people will create answers if they can't find them or don't know them. There's no sense in trying to figure people out and the things they do when they probably don't even have an understanding of it themselves.
Secondly, peace is paramount. Put the phone down. No one is entitled to an explanation from you for anything. Don’t waste your time and energy saying the truth to people who would rather believe their own version of it.
I think back to past versions of myself who would say whatever to whoever, and proudly did so simply because he was being honest. It never seemed like a bad time to speak my mind. Not everyone appreciates honesty or can handle it, so I've learned that rather than figuring out the best way to say SOMETHING...nothing is usually best, for all parties' sake. First and foremost, my sake.
Man, the power of saying nothing. It's multi-faceted. It makes people think. No one likes being ghosted, so upon that occurring it leads to questions. It lets people think they've "won" and continue on in their false reality until what's really going on smacks them in the face. People never wanna accept the fact maybe they’re the problem, though. I’ve been there.
Putting the phone down also saves you having to text angrily and have sore thumbs, or protects your vocal cords if you happen to be disagreeing with someone in person.
Sadly people have lost the art of in-person communication and most arguments occur through phones. Well, most interactions happen through phones. Most of how people gain their knowledge or create answers to the questions they have no business asking, happens through phones.
The ease in finding things through technology has everyone thinking they know it all based on what they see or what a friend puts in their group chat without full context or their own spin on it. I promise you, there's always an unturned stone. There's always a piece of information you're missing. There's always a question you can ask yourself. More depth to a situation than your presumptuous selves would allow yourselves to see...or simply are incapable of seeing.
Sadly for many, the answers they have in their mind are far better than seeking the truth. Seeking the truth allows for people to be wrong, which is avoided at all costs nowadays. Seeking the truth allows for people to be humbled. No one embraces humility as much as they promote it through their socials.
I used to get really upset at how horrible some people can be to those closest to them. The things they use to justify their behaviors. The short-term memory that drives them to act in ways those closest to them could never reciprocate. The sheer, utter disregard for the fact they too are human, make mistakes, and the person they’re mistreating has been there to pick up the pieces when someone else has fallen by the wayside, especially them. I got even angrier at people in their circles who would enable their behavior or encourage it for the simple fact they’re friends. Friendship shouldn’t trump morals or what is right. Try telling someone that in 2019, and they’ll probably agree with you off rip. Let’s see if they act on it.
Now though, I’m okay with what people do and how they live if it isn’t physically harming me or making my life complicated in any way. Trust, I acknowledge how selfish people can be and what it leads them to behave like. I've seen it within myself and have been genuinely disgusted.
But what do I do? Clock in, every day. Try to be better, every day. I'm finally getting to a place where I can live with people's bullshit, and I'm especially proud of that because I've always been the type to call shit out. I couldn’t let people be bad, even if that’s what they wanted to be. Now, I’m not letting myself be affected if you don't have yourself figured out because I'm working on me before anything. I don't feel a need to explain that or anything about my life to anyone who is ultimately going to create their own answers anyways at the slight hint of a grey area.
I don't have to see or help people get better who don't want it for themselves. What do I look like committing my energy to sharing useful information with people unaware of its utility? Nah, some people want to be trash and you have to let them be.
Those same people will always see you for who they want to see you as. But you don't have to see them at all, if you don't want to. Put the phone down. There's always going to be something to be angry at, call out, or debate. Wouldn't it be so much better to just ignore it all and sleep peacefully knowing you didn't let something ruin your day that isn't even worth a minute of it? There’s always going to be something you can fix or get mad at. There won’t always be a you on this Earth. Spend your moments happy, with those who make you happy, and those who clearly want better for themselves. Watch how those nasty folks operate, take note and move accordingly. Don’t ruin your peace because someone else can’t find theirs.