"An object at rest tends to stay at rest. An object in motion tends to stay in motion. If you want to overcome inertia, you have to apply a force." I've never liked physics, but that inertia definition hits differently in the grand scope of life.
I feel like I'm always in motion. This is probably the hardest I've ever worked in my life, and I love it. I love what I do, so it's easy to commit. However, there's also a sense of urgency within me. I'm trying to thrive and I'm a bit impatient. I fear failure, which to me is not accomplishing the goals I set out to. I feel that my entire being is purposeless if I don't achieve what I plan to, so my work ethic is in large part due to me wanting to survive.
I was talking to my bro Jabari about this the other day. I'm happy with how far I've come, but I feel like I should be thriving. It's due to my impatience and desire for instant gratification, but I feel motionless. It's a very real thing to be disconnected in mind and body. I'm my own worst critic and I expected millions after college, which is my own vice but I don't know even if that's not attainable I feel like I can be further along.
What's holding me back though? I think we all look within ourselves to determine that, and on the surface it's easy to blame outside factors. I try not to live on the surface. I've learned it's important to really break things down to their core and find the origin of issues. One of the toughest things to come to terms with is the fact that you are what's holding yourself back.
I work hard but I could work harder. I could do different things. I could expand. I could seriously evaluate where my time is best spent and focus on that. I know all of that, and the pressure definitely is what pushes me to keep going. I'm the guy who tells people to focus on the positives even when times get rough. I'm the same guy having trouble doing so because my glory days feel near but aren't exactly here yet. Being so close that you can almost taste it is annoying as hell.
I'll get there. I know it. I have to keep being the force that is keeping me in motion. It's nice to have other people in my life who push me. I'm sure I'm not the only who feels motionless sometimes. It's a confusing place to be. Be the force, word to Star Wars.